Boys

I think it's funny the way guys function. They really do always think with their dick first. I remember part of the reason why I broke up with Dave was because he had all these half-naked girls around all the time since he did car shows and whatever. After we broke up he started f'ing these two easy chicks and now he's all contacting me again. With Mark, he decided to go with the other girl because she spread her legs for him and ended up getting pregnant. He was all happy that he was getting laid, but now he's been constantly calling and texting me saying that he thinks he made the wrong decision and that he wished things were opposite of the way they are now. He used to never call before, but now he's even calling me from his work and everything. I think all of this proves that guys really don't know what they want even though they think they do. They got a good person there for them but they'll always take the easy route before realizing the more difficult route was the better one to begin with. Honestly, I do the same thing. I've been thinking about things so much lately and I came to the realization that I really take people for granted. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find exactly what I'm looking for. I think I've raised my standards way too high to the point that anyone who should typically be relationship material in my book instead becomes a meaningless hookup. My self-confidence is on the rise though. I feel so free to do whatever I want, but I definitely do miss having someone to talk to and spend my free time with. I can't stand this song because my sister overplays it, but Tierra Mari - Hunt 4 You definitely got my feelings on point.

- Monday
Worked with Terrence.

- Tuesday
Knocked the fuck out instead of going in for floorset.

- Wednesday
Busy, busy day for me. Rushed straight to work after school to help out with floorset for a few hours. New collection looks hot. I love the winter jacket and long-sleeve dress. Good thing about them were that they were a lot more expensive than the other things in the store, which means not a lot of people will buy them and I can be unique. I swear Brittany and I are the only ones who ever buy the more expensive clothes that come into the store. Went straight to Rancho again after floorset for the NHS Induction Ceremony. Rainy days are not cute at all.

- Friday
Didn't go to homecoming. Went to Cerritos for Wingstop with Amy, Katie, and Tam instead. Fries and ranch there are so bomb! Cute ass Jay Sean lookalike there made Wingstop that much better. There was a guy who was hella checking me out and not even trying to be subtle with it that I completely ignored because he looked like my ex Johnny. Haaa not cute at all. Definitely not going down that route again, so that was unfortunate for him. Freaking Katie was like "So is it completely over with T.I.? Like over over?" When I said yes she said "Aw, he was really cute too." Gee, thanks Katie. That really helps. Rushed to Regals to watch Stepfather. Lame and corny, don't waste your money on it. Snuck into Paranormal Activity for the second half. Amy's such a pussy. I think she had her hands over her eyes longer than it took her to drive from Cerritos back to Garden Grove. I found everyone's screams to be funny since I had already seen it. Katie and Amy were scared shitless afterwards. If there were no boring midday scenes and only freaky night scenes, I would totally watch that movie again and again. Went back to Katie's house for a bit then to my house. It was only 12 something in the morning and I knocked out on Amy. Sleep deprivation from the weekdays f'd me up.

- Saturday
Slept 'til 5. Worked closing shift with Terrence and hit $5,000. Terrence was saying that he thought I had a crush on him. Lol, I was in disbelief that someone could be that confident in themselves. I've been there since July. Trust, if I wanted him, he would've known and you guys would've known too. He really thought I liked him and I didn't know what to say that wouldn't hurt his feelings, so I just rolled with "I like 5'10 and up, sorry" knowing full well Terrence is like six inches shorter than my requirement. He said "I still could've gotten you, it would've just taken time." I told him it'd take years and left it at that. Amy and Frank came in. Amy missed me that much. Yeah, we really need boyfriends.

- Sunday
Dropped my laptop off at Amy's, then went to work at 5, which was earlier than I was supposed to because Brianna went on her break and never came back or called the store to let the girls working know what was going on. We were all worried thinking she got kidnapped or something but she called five hours later to say that she left because her mom and aunt got in an argument. Who does that? No one. There's gotta be something more to the story. This cute black guy was telling me I was sexy and I was so gonna hit on him when these six Mexican guys started hitting on me instead. What the hell! Cockblockers! I'm sad now. It's okay though, I'm #1 for the week again. Too bad I didn't get any hmwk done though. Fuck meee. Speaking of fuck me, I remember Amy's conversation with her boy Ryan. It went a little something like this.

Ryan: I like girls that can ride.
Amy: Oh... sorry.

I got one word. Sad. LOL.

Paranormal Activity

- Yesterday
Had a good work day. Angels beat Red Sox! They're currently up 2-0 in the ALDS. Saw the people Terrence and Eddie have been interviewing. Oh em effing gee is all I have to say. What happened to their standards!?!? Our current associates are all good-looking and outgoing. None of the girls I've met are even the least bit cute or have somewhat of a personality. Whatever, they'll just make me look even better. There's this guy I met last Friday who asked for my number and I was too nice to say no so I gave him the store number thinking he'd get the hint. He actually called the store so many times over the week that my boss told me to tell the person who kept calling me to stop. He came in and I freaking accidentally told him I got off at 9. At exactly 9 he waited outside the store with two of his friends and it was so awkward because I stalled inside the store for 30mins and my boss and coworker were all looking at him and laughing. Finally I went outside and just said that I got back with my psycho ex on Wednesday and that if I gave him my number he'd die. I don't think he believed it though but whatever. I need a big crazy boyfriend now so I can just tell the guys who hit on me that and not have to worry about getting caught up in my lie. See Kelly? Don't worry about your situation because if what that guy said was true, I'd be able to request a restraining order on that one stalker guy. I'm loving my job but it's making me fall so far behind in school right now. Told myself I'd study for the SATs but I was so tired that I knocked out in my Ecko dress, makeup, curly hair, hoop earrings and bracelets, and contacts. I hadn't even eaten anything all day besides Ramen at 6:30am and a few scoops of ice cream at lunch, but I just went to sleep and didn't eat the McDonalds meal I bought. I'm a failure, I know.

- Today
SATs was ridiculous. I don't understand why Rancho had to check admission tickets one by one. It wasn't so bad though, except I had four math sections and math's my worst subject. Went home, freshened up, then met Chris at the Block. I like how my dad saw him walking up to me but didn't even trip 'cause Chris is black. If he had been Asian, I wouldn't have fingers to type this right now. We went to watch Paranormal Activity. It wasn't that scary for me because the scariest parts were on the trailer and I knew ahead of time that it wasn't real. If I hadn't known all that I would've definitely been scared shitless. The last part was really scary though. I think when I'm up alone late at night and hear the smallest noises I'll get freaked out though. Chris thought it was real and his heart was beating hella fast. Pansy. Stopped by my work afterwards and Brittany told me that she was at a Long Beach gas station yesterday with no makeup, baggy sweats, and long t-shirt on and when she was getting into her car a black guy opened her door and tried to pull her out. She was holding on to her steering wheel and she screamed at the Asian cashier man to help her but he looked away, so she bit the black guy and he let go and called her a fucking bitch and it was weird 'cause I totally pictured an old ugly dude but she said the guy that tried to kidnap her was good-looking and in his 20s. Freaking crazy! If he's cute and wants to get it on that badly he could've just called me up. Jk. Went to eat Thai food in Anaheim and stopped by Katie's house. Her sister's boyfriend was telling my dad that I deserved a Beemer because I'm pretty and smart but haaa, I'll keep dreaming on. All-nighter now. Morning shift tomorrow. Fuck my life once again.

Twitter

Daaang haven't blogged in so long! Not like that's anything new. I'll try to go back and update whenever I'm not too lazy, but basically I've been really occupied with school and work. College applications are about to be thrown in the mix too. I keep up with my Twitter though, so let's stick with that for now.

www.Twitter.com/TripseeyCindy

Swamped

I. Am. So. Tired. I was supposed to take my daily nap but didn't because Terrence needed me to come in and close with him. I met this man who I seriously thought was gay, but he had a decent looking Asian girlfriend that he met on eHarmony. How weird! I really wanna try eHarmony just because I'm so sure that I won't be able to find someone and I can tell the whole world dating sites don't really work. I don't think the best dating site in the whole world could help me out. The amazing guys, the ones who can stimulate my mind and keep my interest, are unavailable, so there's really no hope out there. Mimi asked me the other day if I still missed ****. I said yes, and she was really surprised because I haven't mentioned him at all for the last couple months. I compare a lot of guys I meet to him and realize that I shouldn't have taken things for granted. Anyways. Moving on. It was so dead tonight. There was a point where our goal was $1,440 and we had $1,424 in. All we needed was $16 to make plan, but we were freaking out because no one was coming into the store at all. Luckily a guy came in and got a $40 jacket right before we closed the doors, so we made plan and LY after all. I have a bunch of homework to get to. If I didn't love my coworkers and what I do so much, I definitely would have quit a long time ago because my mind and body just aren't cut out for this schedule.

Sleep Deprived

Promised my parents I'd actually wake up early to go eat with them, so I was up at 8 on a Sunday that I had off. Went to Fry's after breakfast and was on our way to whatever our next destination was going to be when Brianna called and asked me to cover for her since she had had a rough night. Luckily I had decided to throw on an Ecko tank in the morning or else I would've had to go all the way home to change and then go all the way back to my work. I was glad to trade shifts since I didn't want to close tomorrow, but what sucked was that I had left all my homework for today since I wasn't scheduled to work yesterday or today. Super busy for the majority of the time. I love working with Brittany, Davina, and Liz. We have so much fun and make hella bank whenever we're together. We've made plan and LY, beaten our forecast for the week, and had over $50 DPTs both yesterday and today. That's crazy good, especially considering that Eddie and Terrence had the whole weekend off. Don't know if I blogged about it yet, but the man that came in last time asking me to be his girlfriend came in again today. My blood curled when I saw him. It was so weird. He kept asking me if I remembered him and I pretended like I didn't, so he left since there were a lot of people in the store. He came back an hour later when there wasn't a single customer in the store and my managers were in the back and seemed really offended that I didn't remember him. I said that I saw a lot of faces and couldn't remember everyone, even though I'm actually really good with faces. Instead of asking "Will you be my girlfriend?" he basically told me to be 'cause he said "So what do you say? Be my girlfriend." It was so disgusting. Usually I'm really nice and play it off so that their feelings won't get hurt, but it pissed me off that he thought he was so hot and worthy enough of me. It was insulting actually, so I said "Look, this is a retail store. You can't just come in here trying to get my number. I'm trying to sell, not get hit on" so he said "Okay thank you" and walked out. It was creepy 'cause I found out that the reason why he was able to catch me when there was absolutely no one else in the store was because he has been standing outside the entire hour. Ew I'm so disgusted right now. Aside from that the night went well. Hooked Brittany up with this guy who came into the store that she was too shy to hit on. She said she didn't like his mouth, but I said no worries since she won't be able to see his mouth when he's hitting it from the back. She asked me what kind of grades I got, and when I told her I actually did pretty well in school she said she would've never guessed. She refused to believe me when she asked me what rank I was and I said 4th. Apparently I can't be smart with the way I look and talk. Speaking of school, I really really really need to do homework. F it, I'll just wake up at 3am to do it 'cause I can barely even keep my eyes open to finish this blog.

Hello I'll blog when I'm not so damn tired all the time

Swollen Fingers

It's been barely a week of school and I already feel like I've done so much work. My fingers are already swelling up; I even took off my acrylic nails to make my nails shorter because the way I write involved my thumbnail pushing into my finger. It still hurts like a biatch though. Basically getting my education on is all I've been doing. I went to get Thai food the other day and that was basically it until today. Amy was here for a while, and then Terrence called me out of nowhere to come in and close with him even though I wasn't even on-call. When he saw me he stopped and said "Whoa, nice dress buddy. You're gonna get me in trouble." Then he asked me five minutes later if he ever made me feel uncomfortable, which I said no to because he doesn't. He said that Eddie thought I was feeling uncomfortable with Terrence. The thing I dislike about where I work is that people think and talk too much. When I first worked there, they immediately asumed that I was on Terrence's dick and he was trying to holler at me right away, but I understand why they would since we're the only Asians working there. It went beyond that though when he told me that Eddie and Brittany say stuff like "Why does she take a long time to come in when we ask her to, but she'll come in right away whenever Terrence calls her?" Seriously guys? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Sorry I happen to have no makeup on whenever you guys call me and sorry I happen to be ready already whenever Terrence calls me. Pure coincidence and you somehow twist that into me wanting Terrence? Anyways, Mark and his friends came in to visit me. That's pretty much it. Nothing exciting today. Homework time. Guess I'm sleeping at 2 again.

Hi I'll blog when I have time

Irvine Park

Took forever to upload pictures to my Myspace, so I didn't sleep early enough to volunteer in the morning at Quaker Gardens. Mark had been calling me for the past week, telling me that he wanted to see me sometime before I went back to school. He actually came into the store yesterday for a good 20mins with one of his friends and was mad because I didn't say hi to him. I seriously didn't even see him though. Since I was only helping with floorset and wasn't actually on the clock, I wasn't required to pay any attention to the customers, so I guess he got mad because he thought I was ignoring him on purpose. I went to Quaker Gardens to talk to Leeann in person about why I hadn't been there much this summer, and she was really nice about it and said she understood. Mark came to pick me up when I was done, and he wanted to go to the park so we stopped by his house to get a blanket to lay on. I wanted to go to Mile Square Park but he insisted on driving 45 minutes to Irvine Park. It was so nice there. It's an upper class area, so there were big houses and expensive cars all over the place. There was barely anyone at the park when we got there, so we drove around to look at the peacocks, squirrels, lizards, and horses that were in one of the areas at the park. We found some shade to lay under and it was so calming to just talk and relax. Even though there are a lot of things I dislike about Mark, I still enjoy hanging out with him just because he's laidback like I am. I've always wanted to lay out in the park, but no one ever wanted to do that with me. I kept making fun of Mark's situation. It's so easy to laugh at him! But on a serious note, I feel bad for him 'cause I know he's not ready for everything that's in store for him. He didn't even wanna be with that girl, but he had to ask her out since she got pregnant. He keeps telling me how much he likes me and how much he knows he fucked up 'cause I never kiss him back. We were there for a few hours and I didn't want to ever leave because that's the last time I'll be stress-free for a very, very, very long time. After today comes school, loads of homework, endless scholarship and college applications, volunteer hours, and stepping up my game at work. At least it'll all be worth it in the end, right?

Floorset

- Yesterday
Planned to get some rest all day, but my mom came home early so we ended up going to Wal-Mart, the optometrist's office, and then El Torito. We each got five tacos and they were so yummy! My mom actually liked them, which was really out of the ordinary for her 'cause she's super loyal to the place where she always buys her burritos and usually talks down on all Mexican places besides that one. Perfect example of her loyalty: the waitress made us order drinks, so my mom ordered a margarita and made me drink most of it because her favorite margarita is the one she drinks in the Vegas casinos and therefore she can't like the one at El Torito as much as the one at the casinos. That's so weird though that each margarita has 0.5 alcohol. So if I drank two and drove, I'd legally be D.U.I.? I didn't even feel anything. 0.8 is too ridiculous of a limit. Anyways, I had planned to go to the store just to pick up my check, but my boss wanted my help with floorset so I stayed there for almost five hours marking down prices and moving stuff around. I'm really liking the new clothes. There was so much stuff I wanted to buy, like the new miniskirt and jacket and V-neck and men's shorts, but I only had enough money on me to buy a pair of skinny jeans, a tank, and a strapless top. Got home at 11. Looked at pictures. Will upload when I have time.

Sin City

- Saturday
Woke up at 4 freaking am. A couple of my guy cousins and one of my uncles came over to go in our car, and we took off at 6:15. The only time we stopped was at Barstow to get food and Starbucks. Other than that, it was a smooth ride and we got there at 11 something. The check-in line was freaking crazy! It literally extended through 3/4 of the lobby. Luckily my dad was considered a V.I.P. and was able to skip the whole line, so we got into the room and chilled there until Kathleen and her mom and her mom's boyfriend arrived. My sister asked my guy cousins who was the meaner one, and they said me because I always make fun of them. Lol! Wow I didn't know they had a brain to make decisions. When Kathleen got there, Mimi freaking knocked out for like two hours. Who goes to Vegas to sleep?! Finally we went to get something to eat, then chilled on The Strip and went to the mall. There's so many black guys in Vegas! I love it! There were even some really hot ones who checked me out throughout the weekend, which is so unusual to me because black guys around my town never ever look at me. I get scared whenever they look like they're about to approach me though. I've never talked to a hot black stranger before, so I always get really intimidated and avoid all eye contact with them. Anyways, we left the mall to go back to the hotel for dinner at Garden Grill. The hotel's getting hella smart. They used to have Casino Cafe open 24 hours, and we would go there because their food wasn't too expensive. For example, their New York steak would be about $20. Now, they only open Casino Cafe until 2 and moved their menu to Garden Grill, where the food goes for $5 to $10 more. Freaking clever! Dinner was $313. My parents paid. My aunts didn't offer. Nothing new. There was this incident where Mimi and I were standing in the restroom and the cleaning lady was doing something near the mirror and out of nowhere the huge wall mirror literally became unglued and came crashing down on the floor, barely missing everyone by inches. It was so freaking scary. After that, we went back to the room to chill before going to visit Brian, this guy I've known for a while who lives in Vegas. He asked if we wanted to play miniature golf and we stupidly said yes. We sucked so freaking much that I'm surprised Brian even had the patience to continue playing with us. The whole time we were cracking jokes and he'd just stand there and laugh at a few of them, which is something I don't like about him because I know we were being funny as hell and he must not have a very good sense of humor if he didn't find us hilarious. After Brian left, we went out on The Strip again and ended the night with McDonalds. I don't know what it is about that McDonalds that makes it so special. We always chill there when we feel like sitting back and talking. I got super sleepy since I barely slept all day, so we ended the night pretty early and went back to the hotel at 1:30am.

- Yesterday
Woke up at 7 because sleeping doesn't feel right in a city like Vegas. We all went down to Casino Cafe for breakfast and ran into Katie and her family, who ate at the same place but at a separate table. I'd much rather eat with them; they're not freaking cheap like the rest of my aunts. Breakfast was $248, which Kathleen's family paid for. Aunts didn't offer. Nothing new. Mimi, Kathleen, Katie, and I went up to the room, moved to a different floor, and then chilled in there for a couple hours. They were dancing and it was so... not pretty. We went to the mall afterwards, stuffed ourselves with pretzels and strawberry lemonade, then went shopping but didn't find anything we liked. The only thing that we did like though was #2 in Forever 21. There were these four guys working at the registers in F21. #1 was a tall Asian guy who's pretty cute but somehow reminds me of one of my cousins, which is pretty gross. #2 was this half-black, half-Filipino guy who looked just like Tyson Beckford. He was seriously one of the most gorgeous guys any of us had ever seen. #3 was white guy who wasn't my type but was still pretty good-looking. #4 was just... no. Guess which guy we got. Yep, you guessed right. We got #4. Luckily #2 asked #3 to ask #4 to ask us what race we were and was trying to talk to us, but the line was so long that we left and came back. I peeked at him at one point and saw him peeking too and almost fainted because in my mind, Tyson Beckford was looking at me. I wanted to take a picture with him just so everyone could see what someone so gorgeous looked like, but his damn manager was there and he couldn't talk to us. Bad luck follows us man. We stopped by Wynn on our way back to the hotel, then met up with the entire family to eat Thai food at Kung Fu restaurant. Dinner was $212. One of my three cheap aunts paid, which was highly surprising to me. It was 8:30 by the time we finished dinner and I was supposed to hang out with Brian at 8, so we rushed back to the hotel to get ready and met up Brian and his brother Brett at 9:30. The night before, they were in their work uniforms and didn't look too cute. This time, both were wearing fitted jeans and caps and flannels. They looked so freaking good! Can't believe we didn't take any pictures that night, but I do have some videos I recorded of them. Brian took us to Town Square, which is an outdoor mall similar to Victoria Gardens about 15 minutes away from The Strip. They had every single store I could possibly think of! Too bad they were closed. I wanted to go sightsee on the main part of The Strip but there was so much traffic that we ended up sightseeing from inside the car, which Kathleen really liked 'cause her strange ass loves traffic. Brian's other brother, Brandon, called and told us to meet him and his girl up for midnight bowling, so we went to the Braza brothers' house to wait for Brandon. Brett showed us some beats he had made and they were actually really good. I always assume people I know who do music suck just because I've met so many guys who thought they were the shit but sucked ass. Brian was supposed to dance for us but he got all shy out of nowhere. I've seen his and Brett's videos before though and they're amazing when it comes to krumping. Gotta ask Brian for them. Their nephew's really influenced by them. He's getting into dancing and can do a lot of moves that he copied from the JabbaWockeez. They're all such a cute and talented family! I wanted to stay at their house forever, but Brandon came so we all headed to The Orleans Hotel for midnight bowling. We were walking to the bowling place and Brandon looked at me, then asked Brian a question in his ear and Brian looked at me and answered "Not yet." I think they were talking about the fact that Brian and I have been attracted to each other for almost a year but we've never even held hands. Since Brian was so shy, I decided to just make the first move and give him a kiss when he got a strike. The guys hella schooled us the first game. By the second game, I was so tired that I was sleeping on Brian's shoulder. I like the way he was really affectionate and kissed my face while I was sleeping, but I kept thinking he was gonna smear my eyebrow lmao! They took us back to the hotel at 3am. My sister owed Brett a kiss on the cheek because he beat her, but he got her to kiss him on the lips somehow. I like that the Braza brothers are attracted to us and we're attracted to them, but we don't like each other that way. They got their other girls, we got our other guys. They're just people we love to hang out with when we're in town. Even though Brian and I acted like we were dating that night and he kept talking about how he's gonna try to come to Cali as soon as he can, I don't feel a connection with him, and I like that. I like that connections are so important to me now. It used to be that I would just date whoever I felt like, but now, I base potential relationships on looks and initial connection. I just realized how important comfort and humor are to me. I can't date someone if I don't feel like our silences are completely awkward-free and if I can't have some good laughs with a guy. Be good-looking and mediocre if you just want a friend in me. Be good-looking and my equal if you want a girlfriend in me.

- Today
We were supposed to leave at 6 but I woke up at 7:10, and I was the first one to wake up too. We left the hotel at 9:30 and stopped in Barstow to get Panda Express. There were so many of us in there! Kathleen and I had to sit down in these empty seats next to the Mexican family that was sitting there, and they were giving us looks like Ey chinita, who the fuck are you to sit down there? But they finally left and then we finally left. Everyone went straight home besides my parents because I made them stop at Ontario Mills for us. Didn't see anything I liked again though. So frustrating! I wanted to spend money. I went into the Ecko there and wow, it's so different from our store. So much bigger and darker and not crammed in and not pleasantful. None of us brought home stuffed animals or bought more clothes and shoes, so our mothers should be proud of us! We usually have bags and bags of stuff to take home, but this time it was just our luggage and duffel bags, which made it so much easier to unpack. Kathleen knocked out at my house, and when she woke up we over to my cousin's house for a barbecue. One of my cheap aunts bought lobster that she claimed was over $100, and the other one bought pho at a 50% off place. Not exactly equal to what the rest of the family paid in Vegas, but at least they paid something. Kathleen's mom was telling me about how the aunts had taken my grandma to Treasure Island to watch the pirate ship show, and when they got there there were so many people that they were standing in the very back and my grandma couldn't see since she's in a wheelchair. They saw security guards telling everyone to back up and they thought that they would get moved even further back, but the security guards had actually been making space in the front for my grandma and family to sit since my grandma's a handicap. Doesn't that just touch your heart? So nice. Went home at 9 and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Vegas Bound

Finished Animal Farm today! Weird ass ending. Worked until 10. Met my new associate manager. She's definitely not someone Eddie would typically hire lookswise, but her personality's super chill. Kay, not much to say. Time to go pack. Probably won't be getting much sleep tonight. Still gotta pack and clean a bit. We're leaving a little before 5am, which means I gotta take a nap if possible and wake up at 3am. Sigh, here goes being an insomniac for the weekend.

Senior Year Schedule

Had to wake up at 7:00 with only two hours of sleep to do my registration. Mr. Bui did a really good job giving me the classes I wanted. Amy came over later on in the afternoon to kick it, but stuff happened between her and the guy she's talking to so she's been super emo the whole day. In all the years I've known her, this is pobably the least she has spoken within a span of nine hours. Not something I'm used to at all. I wonder why I don't act like that when I break up with someone. I think I just tend to cope with things on my own rather than show the whole world that I'm sad. The world can't help me; only I and a cute guys who capture my attention can help me get over such situations. Went to Fashion Avenue and then Mainplace Mall. I got these strapless wedges, a dress I really like, and a purse. I'm officially set for Vegas now.

Schedule (Currently lacking a 3rd period):
0) English Literature AP - Hamamoto
1) Physics AP - Greer
2) Environmental Science AP - Durand
4) Calculus BC AP - PhamVu
5) Civics AP - Isselin / Economics Honors - Beglinger

Won't be an easy senior year as I had hoped, especially since I'll have to balance work and even college applications. Good luck to myself.

Hi I'll blog when I have time


-- Posted From My iPhone

Hi


-- Posted From My iPhone

Turn-Ons

Today was crazy hot. Woke up, did some reading, showered and went to Kathleen's house, headed to Anaheim for Thai food, then went to the Block to shop since I can't go tomorrow night. Bought jeans and walked around. There were no Asians whatsoever... The only cute guys there were all Mexican. But that's okay since I now have a thing for the ones who are clean-cut, don't look like cholos and actually look like they can speak English fluently, dress nicely, have perfectly-shaped round/oval heads with buzzed hair, and are handsome in a non-Mexican way. There was actually this one gorgeous Mexican guy rocking aviators, but ehe resembled Mark to the point that all I could think of when I looked at him was baby mama drama. Asians and Filipinos, where you guys at? Nothing against my good-looking Hispanics, but they're already taking over So-Cal and just about every public location out there. Don't let them take over the ladies too. Right now they're the only ones I take notice of when I go out. That's pretty weak if you ask me. But enough about that. Turning to a completely different subject now. We sat down to people-watch after we got pretzels. Mimi decided to play a little game where we went around in a circle and said something that turned us on in the opposite sex or something that we look for in a guy. I wrote down the things we said 'cause some of it was so freaking hilarious. Kathleen and her strange ass fetishes. You'll see what I mean when you read what we said.

K: Black (Oh yes)
C: Money (Sufficient amount is a must)
M: Smells good
K: Short hair (A must!)
C: Big penis (Not expected in Asians and Hispanics however)
M: V-neck (Cheap and well-appreciated. All guys, go get one!)
K: Hairless (Upper body wise)
C: Nice shoes (A must! Dunks and Jordans are appreciated)
M: Filipino
K: Slim jeans (Flare or baggy pants not appreciated)
C: Nice eyes
M: Buzz cut
K: Cute ears (Fetish #1)
C: Nice car
M: 5'10" + (Good luck with that if you like Filipinos)
K: Nice feet (Fetish #2)
C: Tattoos on forearm
M: Lip piercing
K: Tattoos on neck (All guys, go get one!)
C: Plump lips
M: Wears plaid
K: Ear piercing
C: Good sex (A must!)
M: Red/green hat (Any color fitted hat appreciated)
K: Non-ashy elbows (Fetish #3)
C: Small butt (A must!)
M: Talented
K: Nice eyebrows (A must!)
C: Fast metabolism
M: Nice abs
K: Been to jail (She wants them to be familiar with the thug life)
C: Ambitious and funny
M: Not a baby daddy (Shouldn't I be the one to say that? -_-)
K: Gives foot massages (Fetish #4)
C: Not a druggy (A must!)
M: Decisive

To be continued.

Westminster Mall

Didn't go to the Angels game with Terrence and his friend after all. Amy came over and we headed to West Mall. Dandy was supposed to come but he turned out to be busy, so we just shopped, pigged out in the food court, and shopped some more. I had so many shoe-gasms today, but I still wasn't able to find the exact kind of shoe I've been searching for all this time. Went to Target to get random stuff, then back to my house where we've been chilling, watching TV, playing random games on my phone the whole night, and showing each other our unique lapdance techniques. Don't ask. Surprisingly we were pretty good, but we definitely need to get a life and do something productive, lmao.

Shopping Day

Took my senior portraits earlier in the afternoon. What the eff, 35 freaking bucks for five damn pictures that don't even look that good? I bought the cheapest package too. People who pay a load of money more to get a bunch of extra shots; I wanna know, are you that ugly that you need that many pictures in order to get a good one? I wanna set up a professional photo shoot with one of those young, amateur professional dudes sometime. I'm so unphotogenic that I need some pro pics man. Anyways, cashed my check, Amy came over, went to pick up Liz, stopped by Staples to get some school supplies, and went to the Block. I was walking by Converse when these four Filipino guys saw us and followed us into the Ecko store, but none of us had the balls to say anything to each other so eventually they left when we gave them no sign that we were feeling them! Lmao, coulda been Mimi's soulmate or something. Bought $75 worth of pants for my dad for only $45 thanks to employee discount, then went to El Torito with the girls and Terrence. Tiny but very yummy tacos. Headed over to Mainplace Mall for some shopping. Bought the one thing I need the least: another freaking dress. We were talking about whether or not Liz would be a good employee at the store I work at, and I was telling her that she would have to do a lot of flirting there. She asked for examples, so I said "That shirt looks really good on you" and Mimi said "That shirt makes your shoulders look really masculine." Amy goes "How about those pants make your penis look big?" Dude, lmfao! Why am I not surprised she said something like that. Baskin Robbins, stopped by Barnes and Noble, dropped Liz off, went to my house to give my dad the stuff, Wal-Mart for Amy to get folders, McDonalds, and now chilling at my house. All of us have such complicated guy situations, lmao. How hard can it possibly be to have a regular relationship with someone? As of now I want an innocent boy who has my best interests at heart. Not someone with a baby mama, not a big-time partier, not a player with multiple girlfriends. Just a nice, handsome, innocent boy with good intentions.

Closing Shift

- Yesterday
Didn't do anything besides work at night. My new heels hurt like a bitch! Nothing really interesting happened; people are pretty tame Sunday nights. $53 DPT. Not bad. Spent the whole night texting Paul 'cause Terrence gave me his number. You'd think that when he gave it to me, he would actually have remembered to mention the fact that Paul has a freaking girlfriend. Paul didn't tell me 'til way later on in the conversation, and it's funny 'cause he said things to me that no guy who "truly cares" about his girl should ever say. And he continued to say things along those lines even after I told him not to be so flirty anymore. Paul's one of those guitar-playing, acoustic-singing Filipino guys. So not my type but so every other Rancho girl's.

Long Day

Worked morning shift with Terrence. Slow ass day, which put me in such a cranky mood to the point that I despised any customer who wasn't buying at least $45. That reminds me; gotta write a one page essay explaining why I couldn't hold a $50 DPT. There was this girl who wanted to do an exchange, and when Terrence pulled her shirt out of her bag, a female condom belonging to her chola mom fell out. Lmao, can you say awkward? Got my check and went to my mom's shop after work. Knocked out in the back for a while, then woke up and got my nails done. Went home for a few minutes, then went to get Thai food with my aunt and cousins. Anaheim plaza afterwards, where I got a pair of heels yay. Fuck the bitches who work at Fashion Q. They needa get laid or something because they're seriously the mutest and grumpiest cashiers on the face of this planet. We went into Wal-Mart and it was so funny 'cause I was talking about the kind of pads I liked, and I stared at a package of pads and said "I like it long... thin... and without any cloth on it." Mimi and Kathleen got quiet all of a sudden, so I looked up to see what they were doing, and they were staring back at me with eyes wide open. I finally understood what was so funny and couldn't stop laughing for the longest time, lmao! I love when we go to random ass places like that and yet we're somehow able to have fun. Stopped by Yogurt Flavors and I didn't even wanna go in since I hate trying new places, but this hot guy worked there so we ended up going in and sitting there. Anyone reading this who knows who that one bald guy working at Yogurt Flavors is, please let me know. Their toppings are really good btw. Stayed at Kathleen's house for a while after, but we went home pretty early since all of us have been up since 8 in the morning. I'm so sleepy I can't even watch Cheaters. Debating whether my older aunt's pho is worth waking up at 10 for tomorrow morning. If it was Kathleen's mom's pho, I'd be up early no doubt. Anyways, time to record Cheaters and ktfo.

What's Yo Twitta

Stayed home all morning with intentions of starting on my second book, but I ended up watching TV, sleeping, and getting ready the whole time. Didn't even read a single word. Stopped by the Tom guy's house to get my SIM card tray, then went to Westminster Mall to pick up my phone from a guy named Kevin 'cause I had him unlock and jailbreak it. He was so busy he forgot to ask for the money, but I was nice enough to go back and pay him. Ate Panda Express with my dad, picked up Mimi, dropped my dad off at his friend's house, then went to eat with my mom, aunt, and cousin. We went to the Block since I might have to work tomorrow night and did the usual: shop, people-watch, and visit my coworkers. Even though I worked very little hours last week, I actually had the most sales. $3,400 or something like that, all in eight hours. Talked to Brittany, who was really sad because her boyfriend's mom's newborn baby died yesterday. I didn't know what to say to comfort her, so I just gave her a hug and left. Saw Mally when we were at the food court place and I wanted to tweet about her, so I was like "Mally! What's your Twitter?" Somehow that turned into a song we call "What's Yo Twitta," and the whole night Kathleen and Mimi were coming up with the chorus and verses for it. Hope they become famous millionaires so I won't have to go through eight years of schooling. Oh, and Kathleen said my family should have our own reality TV show called "Laying Down The Las." Get it...? Laying down the laws? Hahaha! I didn't get it at first. Very clever. Kay, nothing very interesting about my day. All I saw were a bunch of damn couples. For the most part, they weren't good-looking, but there was this one Mexican couple where the guy was tall and built and the girl had fake boobs and nice legs. I wanna be like that: have people look at me and whoever it is I might be dating and say "Dang, they're a good-looking couple." Soon, I hope. Soon.

Cockblock

Went to this Tom guy's house to get my phone fixed. The dude barely graduated from Rancho and he's already making bank. He makes so much money just fixing iPhones alone, and on top of that, he owns four businesses. Shining example of a rich dude with the misfortune of being unattractive. My aunt picked me up and took me to my mom's shop. There was this black lady there and I was telling her white friend how I like black guys but they don't seem to like Asians too much, and the black lady wanted to hook me up with one of her sons lol! The only thing is that her sons are 19 and 21, so she was like "Wait until you're 18." I just wanted to tell her not to worry about the whole underage thing, but my mom was standing right there and (big)cockblocking me. Went to some new Vietnamese restaurant afterwards. Was supposed to go bowling with the coworkers tonight, but Eddie moved it to Sunday or Monday. Terrence actually called me earlier and asked if he could give my number to the girl he likes' brother. Thank you, Terrence, for not cockblocking anymore.

Pretty Nails

Thank God for DMV appointments. I skipped the line wrapped around the Santa Ana building, got my number, and my ass barely made contact with the waiting chair when I was called to a window. I thought that renewing my permit would just mean that I had to pay the fee again, but I had to take a picture and retake the written test. The first time I was at the DMV, I knew I had to take a picture, so I literally combed my hair every two minutes while I was in line. My hair ended up being messed up in the picture, lmao! This time, I didn't even know I would be taking a picture, but my hair ended up looking perfect. Ironic. The last time I read the handbook was over a year ago, but the test was basically common sense and I only missed 5 questions even though I got through it in under ten minutes. There was this Hispanic lady who had been there for almost an hour and missed 19. Um, 90% of those questions are common sense. Just pick the damn answer that talks about safety. Not hard. Went to my mom's shop afterwards and got my nails done and bangs cut. Spent the rest of the night watching this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7s2Ik-9AwA&feature=player_embedded#movie_player.

Transcript Of Life

Imagine if all your words for the past 24 hrs had been recorded and turned into a transcript. How would it read? Would there be more life than death? Would it include words filled with life that build others up? How much of it would contain grumbling, complaining or even name-calling? Remember. What comes out of your mouth reveals who you really are. Focus on speaking words of life and blessing! If you change your words, you'll change your life. - Joyce Meyers

I got this from Minh (www.NguMinh.Blogspot.com) and loved it so much that I wanted to repost it as a means of inspiration. It's sad because I realize the things I say are usually negative and full of antagonism. From this point on, I'm going to try to turn it around, follow this lady's advice, and speak mainly words of positivity. Thai food and Wal-Mart. I love lazy days.

Idiot Of The Year

Mark just called to tell me he accidentally got his other main girl pregnant... Lmao! She's keeping it, she says she's falling in love with him, he has to start a relationship with her so he doesn't have to pay child support, he has to hide it from his baby mama so he doesn't have to pay her child support, he wants me to still talk to him, he doesn't want me to be mad. Who said I'm gonna be mad? I have the biggest urge to laugh as I'm typing this. A dude with a shitty car who doesn't know how to pull out having to take care of two kids at the age of 23. Out of all the girls a guy might be juggling at one time, why am I always the smart one?

Big Sales

- Yesterday
Woke up early on a Saturday morning to hang out with Mark. Stopped by my store at the Block first to buy a hoodie dress to wear later on in the day, then Mark picked me up from there. Went to his house to meet his roommates and chill, then drove to Anaheim to get Panda Express. Everywhere I go with Mark, people stare like crazy. I thought it was because we're of different races, but when I mentioned it to him, he said "It's 'cause I'm good-looking and you're good-looking." Told you he's cocky. Got to work at 3 and immediately had rushes. I got at least 10 $150+ sales, and Terrence pulled me aside for a private talk to let me know that the managers had a talk and wanted to make me a permanent. Yay. I was in such a good mood at work, especially since Terrence wasn't moping around about his ex-girlfriend anymore. He actually met a Filipino girl he really liked from Fresno, and she came in later on in the day with a few of her friends, her brother, and her cousin. Damn, her brother and cousin were so fine, and both were rocking a V-neck too. I was checking out her cousin at first because he's taller and was wearing a cap, but after they left, the brother texted Terrence and told him to give me his number. I couldn't remember what the brother looked like, but they came back an hour later and I realized the brother was actually the cuter one. They walked outside and I was staring at him from inside the store, thinking he couldn't see me, but then he looked up out of nowhere, saw me, and smiled 'cause he saw me looking. So embarrassing; he called Terrence out just to tell him he caught me red-handed. Terrence is always a cockblocker towards me though. Whenever I tell him to hook me up with someone, he refuses. I told him to give me the brother's number so I could text him, and he didn't even want to give it to me. Still waiting on it. I was supposed to get off at 8, but John wanted to clock out early so he could make it to his party so I decided to be nice and stay until 11:30. Mark came by at 8 though, so I hung out with him and a couple of his friends for a while, then I went to go buy my iPhone from this one dude and bought a case for it too. Missed my cousin's party in order to close the store, but overall, good day at work.

- Today

Started work at 1. Our DPT, Dollars Per Transaction, was $33 when I came in, which is crazy horrible since company standard is $50. Brittany was in a bad mood since the numbers were so low, but right off the bat I got these four Mexican guys to buy a lot and they ended up buying $233 worth of stuff, which raised our DPT up to $49. It pretty much stayed there throughout the rest of my shift, but around 5 a skinny, nerdy-looking guy came in and started telling me that he was really attracted to me and whatever. He asked for my number, and when I pretended that I didn't have a phone, he said "I can buy one for you. I have a lot of phones" and proceeded to take three phones out from his pockets. I decided to play it to my advantage and pulled down a bunch of stuff, and everything I suggested, he bought. When I rang him up, I said "You're easy when it comes to clothes huh? You just get everything without even trying it on." He said "It's easy when you're not on a budget." He ended up buying $407 worth of clothes, and when he paid, he gave me five $100 bills. Wtf right? Then he started telling me that he wanted to take me out to dinner and take me places to shop. Tempting to accept, but the only thing is I don't want to feel like I'm obligated to him or anything just because he's spending money on me. I took his number just in case I change my mind though hehe. I even gave him a hug. He deserved one for helping me raise my DPT to $58, and the managers kept telling me "Good job Cindy." A while later this other dude came in and I totally didn't expect him to hit on me just because he seemed like a dad and husband, but he was saying that he loved Asian girls and he freaking started begging for my number. I came up with every lie and excuse possible... I have a boyfriend, I don't have a phone, I'm not allowed to call customers, my manager's right there, I'm underage. I asked him how old he was, expecting him to say he was at least 40, but he thinks about it for two seconds before saying "I'm 33." Right... That's like saying Kanye West doesn't have a big ego. When I said I had a boyfriend, he told me to take his number in case we ever break up. When I said I didn't have a phone, he told me to go to a public phone or use a friend's. When I said I was underage, he told me we could just be friends and that he'd wait until February for me. Dude, do you seriously believe someone like me would be attracted to someone like you? You wear size 42 pants for goodness sake. Then he started telling me that he had a good job and a new car and a lot of money. I looked down at what he was holding in his hands. A $19.99 pair of shorts. Even if he was hot, just the fact that he made my $58 DPT drop to a $49 was enough for me to reject him. I got off at 6 and went to get Wetzel's Pretzels, and as I was leaving, the size 42 guy saw me and started calling after me and following me. I've never walked so quickly to the parking lot as I did in my desperate attempt to escape him. Went to Kathleen's house to chill, eat, and eventually take a nap. No work tomorrow. Wish I could have a complete lazy day, but I need to go somewhere to get my iPhone unlocked. Oh, and Terrence is really frustrating me by the way. He never gave me that Filipino guy's number, and it's not like I was even the one who asked him for it. That guy was the one who wanted me to text him. Ugh, doesn't he know how hard it is to find a nice and really cute Filipino guy around here who isn't associated with StarFam or whatever and doesn't know annoying O.C. bitches? Practically mission impossible.

Weekend Girl

Made plans to hang out with Mark, but he ended up being in the studio all day. Ugh, "musicians." It was funny though 'cause I gave him so much shit the other night when I asked him when the last time he had sex was, and his response was Saturday. I was like, "Umm, isn't that the day after you hung out with me? I called you but you didn't pick up 'cause you were supposedly in Pomona." He replied, "Well, you wouldn't give me some so I had to." I like that he sees me as his main girl but he's getting frustrated that I'm the only one who won't spread my legs for him. It makes things fun. I have the upper hand now, and he needs to know that I'm not one of his little weekend girls who he can call up to fuck. Thai food, DUI/Driver's License checkpoint, and the Block in the evening. Checked my schedule; work's pissing me off. Some associate manager is transferring over, which means 40 hours for her and less hours for the rest of us. Fucking asshole should've stayed where she was.

These Will Eventually Stop

Dang, I haven't blogged in over 3 weeks. Another huge recap blog coming up. Whenever I get home, all I want to do is check my accounts, watch some TV, and fall asleep. I always wake up at 4 in the morning because I fall asleep without brushing my teeth and washing off my makeup, so I get up out of nowhere to do that and then sleep for a few more hours. With Amy at camp, there's no more blogs to read lmao. Everyone needs to blog more, especially me.

- Sunday, July 19th
Worked from 2 to 6. Met John, the "really good-looking guy" Terrence was telling me about my first day on the job. He looks almost exactly like J. Holiday, but he's convinced me into thinking that he's even cuter than J. Holiday. I don't know what it is that attracts me to him so much. I don't think the 74 girls he's fucked and every other girl he's ever been able to lay game on know what it is that makes him so attractive either. His green eyes are a given, but still, he's nowhere close to my type. He's 5'6, skinny, and has braids... completely opposite from my preference of 5'10 to 6', built, and buzzed. Got off at 7 and went over to my cousin's house, where my sister, Amy, Kathleen, Katie, and Christy all were. John called and told me to come over to his place for a barbecue he was having later on that night, and Amy and my sister wanted to go since there were black guys there. Little did we know that John's phone was fucked up and he couldn't receive calls, so he didn't know that we called him to get the directions. We ended up going to Guppy's to get popcorn chicken instead. We were at the counter making our order and checking out the fine ass black waiter when Amy tells me that one of my exes, Johnny, was standing outside. I didn't see him because she said he was right outside the door, so I looked at the people standing right near the door, but he was actually behind all those people. We got our food and were leaving when I decided to go back and ask him about my iPod, which he originally broke and supposedly bought a new one but never gave it to me. The first thing he said when I walked up to him was "Don't make a scene," as if he already expected me to come up to him all this time. The first thing that ran through my mind when I saw him for the first time in two years? Damn the nigga is ugly! Wtf happened to him? Red fauxhawk with a red tail? And as if he wasn't already skinny enough two years ago, he got even skinnier to the point that his teeth jump out from his sucked-in face. I even asked Mimi later, "Was he that ugly when I was dating him?" and she said "No, because I thought he was okay and we had the same taste back then." I know I'm digressing, but I've noticed that guys I date always get really ugly after we break up. Alamitos and Rancho people, remember Ali Ytares? He used to get girls and be all cleaned up... then at Rancho his hair grew and looked all nappy and he walked around in sweats all day. Tony, granted he was already pretty ugly, got even uglier after we broke up with his faggotass hairdos. Johnny, no further explanation needed here. Anyways, back to the story. I actually didn't make a scene, which surprised Amy and Mimi. "You know, I actually thought you were gonna make a scene." Since when did I become a drama queen? Lmao. I only wanted to make a scene to get the black waiter and the Filipino guys' attention. I can tell Johnny was afraid I'd say shit he didn't want me to say in front of his girlfriend, so he was like "I'll give it to you" blah blah blah, but of course, he hasn't yet. Same shit, different toilet every time with him. I could have let his girlfriend know that according to him, she's boring in bed, but a packed Guppy's wasn't really the time and place for that. Went back to Amy's house, where we were talking about her problems with this Ryan guy she likes. Funny incident that I wanna blog about so I can laugh about it when I read this years from now. She was anxious that Ryan hadn't texted her all day because she assumed that he was out fucking his ex-girlfriend. While we were talking, Mimi started playing with Amy's phone, then gave it back to her. Out of nowhere, Amy's phone received a text, and Amy literally jumped out of her seat and said "Omg, he just texted me!" Sad... I know. She started reading it and it said "I love you" and then Mimi started laughing really hard because she had changed her name to Ryan Matthews in Amy's phonebook. We realized what happened and couldn't stop laughing for the longest time. Good night for us, bad night for Amy, long single-day blog for me.

- Monday, July 20th
Asian Mall, went to eat with family, chilled at Kathleen's.

- Tuesday, July 21st
Got macaroni balls at Cheesecake Factory with Stephan, the manager of the place where Ronald works. He's so nice and was talking about all these places he wanted to take me to eat at, which was really tempting for my fat ass, but I didn't want to lead him on. Even though he has money, I can't date someone who's not my type unless he was rich to the point that he's dropping money to buy things for me, not just take me out. Worked closing shift. A 29 year old Sri Lankan guy wanted to take me out on a date because he thought I was 22, but thankfully, I'm only a minor. Being 17 sucks in the sense that I can't go clubbing and I scare off older guys, but when it comes to people like that Sri Lankan dude, 17's the perfect age.

- Wednesday, July 22nd
Woke up early to go to L.A. Went to Chinatown, one of my most favorite places to go. Yeah, it's smelly and dirty and has perverts and grumpy Chinese people, but aside from those downfalls, it's fun for someone who loves buying random things. I was in such a good mood that I walked into a restaurant and said "Hello" out of nowhere, and the old people in there actually said "Hi" back! It was so cute, and when I was walking, a lady was about to get in her car and I was about to cross her path, so I stopped and let her go first. She was like, "No, you go" and I was like, "No, you can go" and she said "Oh, thank you honey! Thank you!" People like that make my freaking week. How many times have you met someone who was that thankful for something so minor? Off to USC we went, or so we thought. Amy got off the wrong exit, so I ran into a Goodwill to get directions. I asked the cashier, then three random people jumped in to help me. They all worked together and gave me the right directions, which made my freaking week too. USC was super nice at first, but then I came to despise it when it got really hot and the last thing I wanted to do was see one meaningless building after the next. Unless it had A/C, I did not want to see any more meaningless buildings whatsoever. There were people from the Bay Area, Chicago, and St. Louis on the same tour with us. I can't believe I'm competing against crazy people who are willing to travel hundreds and thousands of miles to see a college for an hour.

- Friday, July 24th
Got Thai food and went shopping. John was working; I couldn't keep my eyes off his eyes, he said he couldn't keep his eyes off my lips. A black guy saying I have nice lips? I'm gonna remember that compliment forever. I was planning to sleep early when I got home, but John called to tell me about how our boss, Eddie, had pulled him and Terrence aside to have a talk with them. Basically, he told them not to go any farther than just being friends with me because I was 17 and still underage and they could get into serious shit if they did. I didn't understand why he would tell them that and why he would single me out, considering there's another cute 17 year old girl who works there as well. Barely a week at work, and I already have the boss keeping a watchful eye on me.

- Saturday, July 25th
Worked morning shift. I was alone in the store when this tall, cute guy walked in, went right past me without acknowledging me, and grabbed a polo and went to the register. Usually people walk in really slowly and give me a chance to talk to them, but he made a beeline past me, which I especially wasn't used to since he was a guy. I still thought he was hot, so I went in the back and told Brittany to come out to check him out. She nodded in approval, and I was just talking to him when I blurted out "You're cute" out of nowhere. I don't even know where my balls came from, but luckily he asked for my number or else I would've felt like an idiot. I was off at 3 and went to Pasta Bravo with John. We kicked it for a couple hours before it was his time to work, then I did some shopping before going for Thai food and more shopping when my mom got home.

- Sunday, July 26th
Morning shift again. The only thing that made waking up at 7:30 worth it was that my third customers for the day was a black girl and black guy. He was getting a shirt and took off the one he was wearing to try it on, and damn, he had such a nice body. I was afraid to look though because I thought the girl was his girlfriend and I didn't want a black girl coming after me. They were in such a rush that I asked them why they had to hurry for. The girl, who seemed pretty innocent because I suggested a revealing top but she chose a T-shirt that covered up everything, said she had to get to an awards thing in Hollywood later that night. I said "Oh, are you a celebrity or something?" and she started blushing and giggling and whispered "It's a porn thing." I was like "...What?" and she said "It's kind of like AVN, but for black people," so I asked her what she was nominated for, and she said "Best Group Sex." I was about to say "What... the... fuck..." but I acted all cool 'cause I didn't wanna come off as the Asian girl who's too prude to engage in group sex, so I said "Oh foreal? How many people?" and she said "Three girls, two guys" so I said "Why's it gotta be more girls than guys all the time?" and she laughed and said "I know right? That's what I said too." I asked if the guy she was with was part of it, but she said he was just her date to the awards. Damn it, I should've stared at his body more. Lol! She started trusting me so much that she started talking about how she had to shoot a crazy scene the day before and that some people had some disgusting fetishes. I said "You mean bondage and stuff?" and she said "No, like farting and stuff. I had to sit and fart on girls' faces and they would do the same to me" and I asked how she was able to fart so much and she said "Well, they pump up our asses with air." Lmao... don't ask. Went to a barbecue at my cousin's house after work. I was telling my aunt and sister the story, except I said "So I say 'Are you a celebrity or something?' and she goes 'Girl, you don't know who I am? I'm Ashanti!'" and my aunt and sister's jaws dropped, and when I was telling my cousin the story, I said it was Janet Jackson, and she started freaking out. Really guys? Ashanti and Janet Jackson at the Block? Knee-slapper.

- Monday, July 27th
I was being a stalker and checking Mike's myspace when I noticed that he changed his status from In A Relationship to Married. Immediately suspected that he was back with Alvin and the Chipmunks. Just wanted to mention that since it'll be relevant later. Went to the DMV in Santa Ana but didn't accomplish anything. Arrived early for the mandatory meeting at work and chilled with John and Terrence for a bit. The meeting began at 9:30 and didn't end until 12:38am. We did a role-playing thing to see how easy it was for people to steal from us. Even with two of the managers closely watching me, I was able to slip a shirt under my top. If I could do it, anyone could have done it.

- Tuesday, July 28th
Volunteered at Quakers for a few hours in the morning. Mark, the guy that asked for my number on Saturday, was lagging on taking me out, so I stuck around for a game of History Bingo with the Alzheimer's patients. When I left, one of the ladies I was helping called me over to give me a hug. So cute right? Mark scooped me up later on in the afternoon and we were cruising around, not knowing where to go. He took me to some random place in Newport Beach and we walked along the path lined by pretty beach houses. People piss me off though; when we first kissed, some white preppy bitches on bikes rang a bell and laughed, and the second time we kissed, one of the Asian nerds who were biking by said "Whoa, whoa, getting freaky on the boardwalk!" Dude, get a life and get laid. Have you never seen people kiss before? Completely killed the moment for me, but whatever. Mark's a cool guy and he's chill and he's 6'1 and really good-looking and everything, but I think his cons outweigh his pros. He has a kid and a jealous baby mama, he talks too much about shit I don't care about, he doesn't show more interest when I talk about things in my life, he's cocky, he's one of those rapper guys who claim that people like Hot Dolla likes his shit, he's completely convinced he's gonna get in my pants, and worst of all... he has a shitty car. I could get over every single one of his cons, even that he's one of those rapper dudes, but I can't get over him having a shitty car. Mimi likes to ask who I'm talking to on the phone, and if I say Mark, she'll say "Which one? The one with the shitty car?" He's no longer Tall, Cute Mark. He's Mark With The Shitty Car.

- Wednesday, July 29th
I didn't do shit the entire day and didn't shower until 5:10, thinking that my shift didn't start until 7:30. I got out of the shower at 5:45, and Brittany calls and goes, "You know you're scheduled at 5:30 right?" Turns out I got my schedule mixed up with Sunday. Anyone who knows me knows I take forever and a day to get ready, so I told her the earliest I could be there was 6:45. I literally did half my makeup in the car and got to work at 6:15. Amazing? I would call it so.

- Friday, July 31st
Got Thai food again, went shopping, got a cute black dress that I love, stopped by Huntington Beach, and got Yogurtland.

- Saturday, August 1st
Busy day at work. The cutest little boy ever wanted to give me a kiss on the cheek. I can still remember his smile now; he's so cute! He didn't even want to leave. If I could get away with kidnapping, he'd be my pick. Thai food and Anaheim Plaza afterwards.

- Sunday, August 2nd
Katie's birthday dinner at Favori. Only thing good at the so-called "Best Vietnamese Restaurant in Orange County" according to the Orange County Register was their eggrolls. Almost a $400 tab, but my parents' fried rice > Favori's fried rice any day. I bet the person who wrote that review is screwing the restaurant owner.

- Monday, August 3rd
Doctor's, pharmacy, Thai food for the third day in a row, Kathleen's house, watched a horny Mexican couple maul each other outside the girl's house, Costco.

- Tuesday, August 4th
Worked a dead closing shift. Didn't even make $900.

- Wednesday, August 5th
Katie's house for her birthday barbecue. Her mom gave me two boxes of fake eyelashes, which in Vietnam is 20 pairs for $4, so each pair is $.20. Here in Orange County, I buy a pair for $2.79. I go all the way to Chinatown to get them for $1.00 or $1.50. If you are reading this and you're going to Vietnam anytime soon, let me know so I can give you money to buy me boxes of things from there. Thanks.

- Thursday, August 6th
Another mandatory meeting at work. It was supposed to only be 30 minutes long so we could have time to go bowling, but we didn't get out until 10:45. When we got to The Concourse, we went inside and were standing in front of the counter trying to decide which of the managers was going to pay for all of us. The very fat, tall, white guy working there goes "We're not giving out anymore lanes." We were kind of offended because we hadn't even said anything. For all he knows, we could have been there for the bar, but we went outside anyways. Two minutes later, a group with only white and Mexican people go up to the counter, and the dude gives them a lane! We all went back inside, but John walked faster than all of us and went right up to the guy. Immediately the guy tells John to back the fuck off like he wanted to start a fight or something, but John was just asking the guy why he gave them a lane and didn't give us one. He didn't answer John's question but kept telling him to back off before he started something, and I guess the word "Nigger" slipped out of his mouth. John was about to throw a punch but Terrence pulled him back. What would John's fist have hit though? The guy was more than two heads taller than John. No way he could have reached his face, and his fist would have bounced off the guy's stomach. Damn you Terrence. I really wanted to see that punch. We went outside and Eddie arrived right when the fat guy came out and said "Get the fuck out of here. There's a sidewalk over there, you guys can go there, but this is private property so get the fuck off." Eddie asked to speak to the manager, and the fat guy said with a smirk, "Go ahead," not knowing how good Eddie is with words. Eddie got us free games for our next meeting, and the fat guy is at risk for termination. Anyways, we went to Denny's and talked for the longest time. I didn't get back until 1:15am, and yes, my mom was pissed.

- Friday, August 7th
Fucking Twitter was fucked up at this time and deleted my updates for the day. I had to think so hard just to remember what I did. Mark picked me up to kick it for a bit. We stopped by his friend's house, then I said I was thirsty, so he took me to a liquor and got me Arizona. Really? When I say I'm thirsty, I'm used to guys taking me to Starbucks or Jamba Juice or BJ's or Cheesecake Factory so I can get my damn Coffee Frappacino or Caribbean Passion or Strawberry Lemonade. Arizona...? And it didn't even have my flavor? Another con for you, buddy. Then he took me back to his house, completely expecting to get in my pants, but I told him I wasn't going in and made him chill in the car. I just hate how he's so cocky and sure he's gonna get some. He tells me I'm different and that he's really feeling me in a way he's not feeling his other girls, yet he treats me like I'm one of them. When we first started texting each other after we met, he was concerned about me being underage and said he didn't wanna risk getting in trouble. I said, "You can't get in trouble unless we actually have intercourse" and he said "Who says we're not gonna get that far?" and I said "I did..." and he's all "Well, I say we will get that far, and whenever I say that, it happens." When we first talked on the phone, I was talking about how random it was that I told him he was cute, and he goes, "You thought about sexing me, didn't you?" Umm, yeah. Because whenever I lay my eyes on someone cute, the first thing that pops in my head is the image of us buck naked and humping on a kitchen counter. Right. Makes me more determined to never let him get any. Worked the afternoon shift, then went shopping with Mimi and Kathleen.

- Saturday, August 8th
I was working close and got to work a little earlier than usual, so I went to the back and was sitting at the desk when John came in. He kept going into the men's stockroom, which is a room adjacent to the back that has no cameras. I thought I heard him call my name, but I wasn't sure, so I stayed where I was. He poked his head out and said he needed me in the stockroom, so as I was walking in, he pulled me and started kissing me. We've never kissed before, and I'll admit he's a really good kisser, but we were at work and Terrence and Janae were still in the front. I was paranoid that Terrence would walk in, so I pulled away, but he pulled me back and kept kissing me, saying "Relax. There's no cameras here." I finally got away and went back to the desk, and John came and stood over me with his back to the camera. While he was on the phone with his baby mama, he reached in and touched my inner thigh. I was so pissed because for one thing, my ass is on the line while his isn't. He's leaving at the end of August to go back to North Carolina to take care of his daughter. I'm staying, I'm the newest employee there, I'm technically a seasonal, the managers still have to decide if they wanna keep me as a permanent, and Eddie's already on my ass because he thinks the guys wanna get with me. I went out front to work and John was supposed to go home, but he decided to stay and close even though he wouldn't get paid. I don't know why he did it; supposedly Terrence dared him to do it, but John went up to these three girls standing outside and started running his game on them. They completely fell for it; one of them wanted him, but he was trying to get her friend's number, so she was all "Yeah, I'm making sure she calls you." I started giving him an attitude, and of course John and Terrence took my attitude as a sign of jealousy. No, it's not jealousy, because jealousy could never arise in that situation. If John wants to run game on a weak female who's standing around in a short skirt with no shopping bags and gets excited that someone's finally hitting on her, that's his problem. To be honest with you, if I hadn't met John at work, I would never have paid him any attention. His face might be gorgeous, but I have high standards when I'm out and someone's trying to holler at me. I only became attracted to John after we started talking about our lives, and I understand the way he dresses at work because he has to represent our line. If John was to hit on me outside of work, I would never have given him the time of day because he dressed way too baggy, he's way too short, and he's talking in the fast way that black guys talk when they run game on girls. Of course, those girls were lames. John told one of them to holler at his friend, who was in the store. Instead of telling John to bring his friend out or asking him what his friend looks like or how old he is, she walked right in the store and went up to Terrence and startsed smiling and whatnot when he started asking her questions. Really? Terrence? Weak is all I could say for both of them. Back to what I was saying. It's not jealousy, and I explained this to John. It was the fact that he disrespected me because he had put my job on the line to try to touch and feel, and just because he didn't get what he wanted didn't give him the right to disrespect me in front of my face, knowing that he would piss me off while I was working. It was also disrespect that he was basically categorizing me with those girls, and he said he completely understood and spent the rest of the night rapping. He's so good, and that's coming from someone who hates listening to amateur rappers. Dude needs to quit Ecko and get a full-time job as a freestyler.

- Sunday, August 9th
Worked the afternoon shift and met one of the most handsome Mexican guys ever. He looked completely white. I thought he was English or Scottish or something when I first met him. He has two kids and he's 23, which means he's freaky right? Hope he comes in again lmao. Stayed until 10 to help with floorset. Parents tripped out in the car when I told them I was scheduled to work until 3am the next night. My dad could act like a real sissy bitch sometimes, and it's freaking embarassing. Stop it Dad. You're a grown ass man.

- Monday, August 10th
Went to the optometrist and got glasses and contacts for under $300. What a deal. Didn't stay until 3am at work. Actually only stayed 'til 10:30. Our new guys' stuff is so hot. Less baggy, more fitted. We got V-necks and dark wash jeans that look like Levi's. Get some.

- Tuesday, August 11th
Wasn't scheduled to work, but I went in to help out with the floorset and put up all the new clothes anyways. All nine of us were there to help, which made the task pretty fun. Went to El Torito for Taco Tuesday with Brianna, Eddie, John, Liz, Terrence, and Gary. Their tacos were small but so good; I usually don't eat the shell but I actually did at El Torito. Helped out some more when we got back to the store, but I left around 7 for a small dinner party thing at my house. Some bitch with an unknown number called and said "You're a bitch" and called again and said something with the word "Ugly" in it. She called again at like 2 in the morning. It's gotta be either one of the hos that I have shit with from my past, Mike's dumbass ex-girlfriend, one of my exes' girlfriends, or one of my new guys' girls. Immature shit like that pisses me off. Grow some balls, don't block your number, don't immediately hang up, don't call with someone sitting next to you, and don't call, period. Say it in person.

- Wednesday, August 12th
Found out that Mike is back with Alvin and the Chipmunks or whatever. Pisses me off because when we first started talking, I didn't even want to start having feelings for him because I knew it'd be hard to win over someone who just got out of a 5 year relationship. But of course, he convinced me that he was over her. There were times when we would have a fight and he would seem like he was defending her or he wouldn't want to put our pics up on his Myspace, saying that he was still friends with his ex's friends, which would make me suspect that there was something going on. He always denied everything and said that he didn't even talk to her, and I believed him, but look at this shit now. He said himself that she's my complete opposite, so does that mean I'm the opposite of what he wants? Maybe I was too much for him. He used to always be so jealous and overprotective. With her, he doesn't need to be that way. No one wants her ugly ass except for him. He told me one time that she had sex with a guy to get back at him for cheating on her. I asked him, "Did she show you any proof of that?" He said, "No, she just told me." I said, "You can't believe her unless she shows you pictures. Unless she paid him, no one wants to fuck her except for you." He laughed because he knows it's true. He could have gone for anyone else and it wouldn't have been a thing to me, but for him to go back to her is the biggest diss ever. Props to him for that one. I'm a firm believer in karma, and my first thought was that it was karma for me always having talked to my exes while I was with someone new. With Dave, I was talking to Johnny. With Mike, I was talking to Dave. My payback? Someone I genuinely liked goes back to his ex. But let me salvage the situation and take that as a compliment. He couldn't handle me; if he wants something easy and someone he doesn't have to worry about, she's the one. The only thing I have to say is, bitch better not be the one calling me with the blocked number. Whoever it was woke me up from my nap and hung up after the second ring, then called again while I was at work. Fucking trick. Back to my day. Picked up my glasses, then worked closing. This nerdy-looking guy came in and said he was a promoter for Bone Thugs N Harmony. He pulled out the CD that Layzie Bone and Big Sloan had released the day before and told us to play some tracks off of it. He said he wanted to bring his guys in but that he couldn't do it 'til November 'cause they were going on tour. I suggested that he bring them in next week, but with such short notice, we'll see how that goes. That'd be so tight if they could come in; I love Layzie Bone and Krayzie Bone. It was funny 'cause he found out how old I am and said "Gotta wait 'til February 'til we can fuck with you," as if the moment I turn 18 would be the moment I get Bone Thugs N Harmony's dicks in my face. Then I told him I wanted to be a music video director, and he said I had to wait until I was 18, so I said "How does that have anything to do with it?" and he says "Well, you gotta sign a release form." Does that mean he can put me in videos? I could be one of those video vixen girls and fuck all the black artists and write a book about how they had an affair with me and then makes millions off of it! Definitely need to keep in touch with him. I believe his name is Jackson. Right after he said that, someone called him and he started telling them he was at Ecko with "two beautiful, beautiful girls," and I started questioning whether he was really a promoter because someone who kicks it with a rap group is usually around very beautiful women, so why would he call Brittany and me beautiful? I asked him to show me pictures, and he actually did have some of him and Big Sloan and Krayzie Bone, which wasn't fun because I wanted to laugh in his face and call him a loser for posing as a promoter. Interesting people I meet at work. Can't wait to see who else I might meet. How about my soulmate, or at least someone rich and gorgeous and has a nice car and loves to travel and wants to take me everywhere and doesn't talk about shit I don't care about and doesn't like his ex-girlfriends and wants to buy me Gucci handbags once in a while? Thanks, I'd appreciate that.

V-Neck And A Cap

- Yesterday
Got dinner with my mom, then went to the Block with my sister and cousin. We didn't do much shopping since we had just been there the week before, so we basically people-watched half the time. We were sitting outside Rubio's and checking out these two super cute Mexican guys, when all of a sudden they stopped and kissed each other! I was so shocked, because they did not look gay whatsoever. And people who know me know I have a pretty good gaydar! That was pretty disappointing right there. I realized that I have a thing for guys in V-necks and caps. Not that the whole cap thing is new, but I never realized how sexy guys look in simple V-necks. Case in point: I was walking past the shoe cleaning place on my way out, and this guy in a white V-neck and red hat was looking at us as we were walking in that direction. I thought I saw him staring at me out of the corner of my eye, but I wasn't sure until I walked past and he said "Hi" to me. I was so surprised that I kept walking, lmao! Good game huh? I'm not even sure if he's cute, but his outfit was pretty damn sexy. Mike wore a V-neck and a red cap this one time I asked him out of nowhere to come see me after work. He looked so good that day, but I couldn't pinpoint the reason why. I realize now that it's because of what he was wearing. I think I may have a new fetish.

- Today
I had to work with both of my assistant managers. It was pretty intimidating; they were both keeping a close watch on me. When I got off, I was shopping around and was walking past the shoe cleaning place when one of the guys working there tried to hit on me. Instead of continuing to walk past the way I usually do, I stopped and asked "What's the name of that guy that was working here yesterday?" They were like, "Is he black, Mexican, or Asian?" and I said "He looks kind of Filipino and he was in a V-neck" and they said "Was he wearing a red hat?" and I said "Yeah" and they said "Oh that's gotta be Ronald." One of the guys working there was this white/Mexican guy who was in a V-neck and had tats. He was so adorable because he was so much more timid than the black and Mexican guys working with him. I asked them "So do they only hire cute guys here?" because I noticed most of the guys who worked there were pretty cute and the Mexican one points to the timid one and goes "Apparently not." It was so funny because the timid one started blushing and was all embarrassed. Wow I totally did not know there were two R's in embarrass. After talking to them for a while more, I went home, changed out of my clothes, and went to Kathleen's house for her mom's boyfriend's birthday party. Her mom made my day by making pho, and since Mimi was at some volunteer event, I spent three hours talking to Kathleen. I could talk to that girl for days and still have things to talk about. There's very, very few people in this world that I can do that with. I love people who I can have a conversation with, and even though we have a number of silences, none of those silences are ever awkward. I only truly like a guy when I'm completely comfortable with him, and I can only be comfortable with him if I can have a non-awkward silence with him. The family party was very relaxing, and everyone actually went home after midnight for once. Usually the people on my mom's side of the family go home super early. One of my very drunk uncles decided to walk from my aunt's house, which is on Lampson and Euclid, to his house, which is on Dale and Lampson. That's almost 4 miles! He wouldn't have gotten home until at least 3:30 in the morning if we hadn't forced him into our car, if he would have even gotten home safely at all. The crazy things drunk people attempt to do sometimes.

Failure At Relationships

5:05 a.m. and I'm wide awake. In half an hour, it's gonna be all bright outside and I'm gonna feel weird that I'm still up. I keep finding myself in this hole, no matter how hard I try to keep myself from falling into it. I'm not being emo; I just feel sad about this whole thing. You know how that cliche in everyone's About Me goes "The best thing in life is to love and be loved"? How come that never applies to me? When I'm loved, I don't love back. When I love (well, not really love, since I've never truly loved anyone), I'm not loved back. Relationships just don't work for me. I had a three year run where I jumped from relationship to relationship to relationship to relationship. The first of those four cheated on me, but it was all for the better because I came to the realization that I didn't care much about him. The next two relationships felt like love at the time, but looking back on them now, I know they weren't genuine because I was so young and obviously dumb. The fourth one was pretty rocky, but I don't regret it the way I regret all my relationships prior to the fourth one. In all those relationships, they cared about me but I didn't care enough about them to try to make it work. That was actually the reason behind why I was cheated on. After my fourth relationship, I thought I wouldn't be able to find anyone better. I noticed a pattern: I would always think the guy I was currently dating was the greatest, but the next guy I dated was ten times better than the previous, and so on. I spent the next year dating around, talking to and seeing a bunch of different guys, all the while keeping in touch with my ex. Sometimes, I would be hanging out with him and he'd be asking about why he heard that I had been chilling with some guy, but I'd just lie and tell him it was a friend. He never found out about those guys, which made him believe that I was being loyal to him and waiting until he was ready. He used to tell me to wait until we were both older and he had more money so that he could settle down and focus more on me than work. The other guys never really meant anything to me; part of me knew it was wrong, but part of me said it was okay for me to be dating other people behind my ex's back because my ex never had time for me or showed me attention. I thought the fact that I was being so patient and waiting for him would make up for me having dated 8 or 9 different guys. By dating those people, I learned to have a guard up so that I'd never catch feelings for any of them. They were supposed to just be guys who would take me out and chill with me whenever I felt like hanging out, but 6 of them actually started catching feelings. When I met Mike, everything flew out the window. My ex didn't mean anything to me anymore, and I completely blocked those other guys out from my life. They would hit me up just like they would before, asking me to hang out, but I'd tell them "No, I'm dating someone, please don't hit me up anymore." I never did that before, which made me realize that Mike was different from other guys. Before, I used to lie to my ex about ever dating anyone. One time, though, he asked me if I was seeing anyone. I actually told him yes, which was something I never thought I'd do because Dave told me before that he would never talk to me again if he found out I was with someone else, which I took seriously because his exes used to try to contact him, but they were never able to. Dave was really disappointed and told me that he thought I was waiting for him, which is why he never hooked up with or dated any other girls the whole year and a half after we broke up. I felt bad, but I was so into Mike that I got over the Dave situation pretty quickly. The reason why I got into such a long, completely-irrelevant-to-your-life story was to emphasize my point: I cared too little for those who cared about me but cared too much for those who didn't care about me. I really let my guard down with Mike. I think the reason why I liked him so much was because he showed me the affection that Dave never did; little things like holding my hand. Dave just wasn't that type of person. Mike was the first guy who didn't tell me he loved me within two weeks; in fact, we never said the L word and he never officially asked me out. But I liked so many qualities about him and, convincing myself that it could possibly be the real thing, would give him chance after chance despite the many things he fucked up on. In the end, it didn't work out, and I thought Mike would be man enough to talk to me about it, but he began avoiding me and basically did what I used to do to all the other guys: drop the relationship, run, and pretend it never happened. I know what you're thinking. Karma's a bitch. Dave has a chick that he bangs now; she really likes him and wants to be his girlfriend, but he doesn't wanna be with her. He just keeps her around because she's willing to do what he wants her to. He told me before that if I left Mike for him, he'd be the good boyfriend I know he could be. I didn't leave Mike though, and even though Mike's gone now, I wouldn't wanna get back with Dave anyways. Still, I hate myself for making such bad decisions when it comes to my love life. I thought Dave didn't care about me since he never showed me affection, but in reality, he really did love me and stayed true the entire time I was out seeing a bunch of random guys. I fucked around behind his back as he worked hard trying to save up money for a house and "our life together" in the future. I wish I hadn't done him so wrong, but it's too late to take any of that back. I'm sure he'd still get back with me if I wanted to, but sadly, I just don't have those feelings for him. Wish I did, but I don't. On the other hand, I have those feelings for someone who doesn't care half as much about me as Dave did. That fucking sucks right? I'm just hoping now that my pattern continues, and the next guy I come across is ten times better than Mike. Even though I hate the stress that comes with being in a relationship and I love being free to do whatever the hell I want to with as many different guys as I want to, I feel like I want to be in a relationship right now. I expected my relationship with Mike to last longer and become more serious, but since it was cut short, I feel incomplete without having someone there. I'm sure it's not hard to find someone who won't fuck up as many times as Mike did, but it's just hard to find someone who has all the qualifications of being my perfect guy. I want someone really good-looking, and lately, I've been more critical of who I think is hot. I don't want someone who does drugs, smokes often, or is either a promoter or heavily into the clubbing/party scene. I don't want someone who is gang-affiliated, is uneducated and lacks common sense, and drives an Asian ricer car. I want someone who is financially and mentally stable, is different from other guys, and can make me feel completely at ease with them. Most of all, I want someone who can care about me as much as I could potentially care about them. Hopefully, the person I'm looking for is out there, and when I find him, I'm gonna be the bestest, most loyalest girlfriend ever. Seriously! I could be a good girlfriend when I want to be. Sigh, I bet the one person who comes even close to meeting my requirements doesn't fit the part that says "must be really good-looking." So ironic, the way things work. 6:24 a.m. I should go to sleep now, but I'm wide awake from having thought so much.

Two-Week Recap

Omgosh, I haven't blogged in such a long time that I'm having a hard time remembering things I even did. Morning plans got canceled last second 'cause Amy remembered out of the blue that she had a dentist appointment. So since I woke up early and I don't have to get ready until later, I might as well catch up on blogging. I'm gonna use Amy's and Mimi's blogs and my Twitter to help me remember what I did.

- Sunday, June 28th
Got a load of iced mocha from 7/11, then went swimming at my uncle's house with Mimi and Amy. Some of my aunts, uncles, and cousins joined us too, but we stayed in there the longest. It was so fun! We had all these tubes and water guns to play with, and Amy would try to act all secret agent with her dumbass little yellow water gun. Her enemy? The bees. Before we swam, though, we sat on the swing under the gazebo and started talking about our future plans. We came to the realization that some other people won't even have a future. How sad, right? Well, I guess it's their own doing.

- Tuesday, June 30th
Went to Westminster Mall with Amy for a bit, went to go get crawfish with my mom, went to Fish Grill with Trang, Angela, and Raymond, and then went back to my house where homeless Amy stayed until 1 something talking her big mouth off and doing a survey.

- Wednesday, July 1st
Katie and Amy came over to swim, but my uncle's pool had a bunch of chlorine in it so we went to one of Katie's friends' pools in Bolsa instead. It was pretty cool there; there weren't any tubes and water guns to play with so we just swam back and forth. We were so hungry when we were done, and right when we were leaving Rose Garden, we saw a Mexican corn man! We each bought a corn with extra everything and went to Amy's car to eat, but then we finished it really quickly and hunted him down for seconds. The curb next to Amy's car was littered with 8 corn stumps and a kajillion dirty napkins. Disgusting. We went back to my house and watched High School Musical 3, went to eat with my mom, aunt, and cousins, went back to my house, and made rice krispies.

- Friday, July 3rd
I had an interview at the Block, but that was a bust 'cause Mimi called me right in the middle of it and I forgot to put it on silent. We went to my mom's shop in Tustin afterwards, and these 2 Indian ladies were being so freaking cheap! They came in, and my mom didn't want to do their nails because she thinks Indians smell bad and are too hairy, so she purposely said $23 instead of $20. They followed her around the whole shop, even when she went to the back, saying that they were sure it was $20 and that my mom should call her co-worker to check that it's only $20. Wtf cheapasses! It's only a $6 difference! Do you want your damn mani and pedi or what. One of the ladies had a really cute son though. He talked so much for a little kid and wanted my mom to paint his toenails, so she did, but he got yelled at by his dad 'cause his dad was afraid he's turn gay. After my mom closed, we went to La Palma to get food at Little Elephant, then Mimi and I went to Katie's house. Tam was there, and we just chilled for a bit because Katie was crying on the phone. I don't know why, but yeah. After she was done, we went to make Mexican corn. Yummm. I got home around 12, and it was too early to sleep, so I decided to watch A Moment To Remember. It was a Korean drama about a girl who got Alzheimer's but her husband loved her through it. I know it's like every other Korean movie and it's similar to The Notebook, but the way they directed the movie made me cry so much! Mimi came in right at the saddest part, and I was trying so hard not to cry with her laughing, which made me cry even harder. Ugh, such a sad movie! And I found out from it that Alzheimer's is genetic. My grandma has Alzheimer's, my aunt is starting to have it... Does that mean I'm gonna get it too?

- Saturday, July 4th
Didn't see Mike today because my mom was home. Had a family barbecue at my uncle's house, and I was in such a bad mood at first 'cause my teacher cousin was trying to discourage me from going to USC. I have no idea why he's so against it because he was trying to tell me to choose UCLA over USC at first. I didn't really have a problem against that, until he said that I should choose UCI over both of them! I was like... What the fuck. Why would I do such a thing. And then he tried to tell me to be a pharmacist instead of a family doctor because there's too many family doctors out there. Are you kidding me!? Do you know how many people are gonna be pharmacists because it's the easy way out to make bank!? I ignored him for the rest of the day and just chilled with Kathleen and her mom and the rest of my relatives. My gangster uncle's daughter is so fucking annoying. Seriously. Get a fucking personality before I slap some personality into you. And don't look away when my dad's talking to you bitch. The only reason why I'm not mean to her is because my uncle loves her so damn much and I love him, so being a bitch to her is out of the question. A lot of my uncle's neighbors were shooting up illegal fireworks, so that was really fun. We climbed on his brick wall to watch the Disneyland fireworks, then we went out to the streets to light up our fireworks. Yay, so fun!

- Monday, July 6th
Chilled at Kathleen's house, went out to eat with my mom and aunt, and visited my grandpa at Kindred Hospital. It was so sad when we were saying hi to him because he wanted to talk but couldn't, so he was kind of crying. We had to leave when he threw up, so we went back to Kathleen's house and watched The Bachelorette, then I went home and watched Cake Boss. My two new favorite shows.

- Tuesday, July 7th
Woke up and watched the first half of the Michael Jackson memorial. Wow, star-studded event or what? Mike got off work a lot earlier than I thought he did, so I rushed to get ready and he picked me up around 1:30. We went to the Block and got Twin Dragon, but like everything else we ever order, we wasted a lot of the food. Homeless people should just follow us around whenever we go eat because we never finish anything. I went to Ecko to talk to the manager, then we went to AMC to watch Transformers 2. It was pretty good; we both liked the first one more though. The whole time I was watching it, I kept wondering how they made those robots and incorporated them into the movie in such a way that it looks real. I searched up the answer on Google but didn't really understand it. Anyways, we got Jamba Juice and hung out for a while more, then I went home in time to catch America's Got Talent.

- Wednesday, July 8th
I got my AP Exam results, and they were so much better than I expected. My heart sank when Amy told me they came in already, and these were my predictions before I opened the envelope: 4 for APUSH, 2 or 3 for Biology, 3 for Calculus, 4 or 5 for English. I actually got 5 for APUSH, 4 for Biology, 5 for Calculus, and 5 for English. Wow, Calculus scale must have been easy as hell because I know I completely bombed the FRQs.

- Thursday, July 9th
Went Quaker Gardens for a little interview and tour with Amy. We got our TB shots too; I was so nervous at first, but the shot didn't hurt at all. The HPV shots have scarred me for life. I think every shot is gonna hurt as much as Guardisil now. We went to Jamba Juice afterwards, where some lady stole our power drinks, lmao! So sly. Went back to my house, Mimi came home, we went to eat with my mom, went back home and saw some websites featuring obese women who actually got laid, went to Rite Aid where Mimi and Amy got free ice cream, and then went to Coldstone's.

- Friday, July 10th
Shopped at the Block after dinner. I got earrings, jeans, sunglasses, panties, and pencil skirt. Went home and was talking to Mike when something that I don't remember happened and he started tripping again. I got really mad that he was accusing me of dumb shit again when he promised not to, so I called him stupid and said he should go to school. He got really mad in turn and said that I crossed the line by attacking him as an individual, which I realized I did and apologized. Got no answer back though.

- Saturday, July 11th
The original plans were that my sister would hang out with us, and Mike would take us to Hooter's, Downtown Disney, and then Khang's birthday. But he still wasn't answering me in the morning, which really pissed me off because he could have simply replied "No" when I asked him if he was coming. Ugh, put me in such a bad mood. Went to Quakers to check my TB shot but the receptionist wasn't there, so Kody and Giselle picked us up and went to go pick up Minh too. Lots of catching up in the car; the whole group pretty much broke up and everyone went their separate ways. Got to Khang's brother's house where the party was, and when I walked out of the restroom, someone was like "Myha's bring Amandababy!" And all the guys were like "Nooooooo" with these disgusted looks on their faces and it was the funniest shit ever! Luckily for them, Myha came alone. We went to the backyard to get food and bbq, but Mimi and I left after a couple hours. Rocky took us to Quakers to get my TB shot checked. Turns out I was negative, but the nurses really freaked me out because the black one saw my shot and was like "Omg, that's horrible" and the Asian one goes "I've seen worst." I got scared and started saying "Huh? What?" But the Asian one explained they were just really surprised that I had absolutely no reaction at all.

- Sunday, July 12th
Got in a fight with Mimi over I don't even remember what, but it wasn't really a fight because my dad kept trying to break us up. I felt really bad though because I was so angry that I started hitting him, so he would push me and grab onto my arms so hard that I have scratches and bruises all over. My aunt and Kathleen came over to eat this really yummy thing that my dad made, and basically Mimi and I started talking again. It's really weird how sisters are; no matter how much we fight, we'll basically start talking again a couple hours later. Makes me think back to the Cheaters I watched the night before, where this guy cheated on his wife with her sister, and they were fighting like crazy at the confrontation. Wonder if they'll forgive each other anytime soon.

- Monday, July 13th
I was supposed to go to Soak City with Katie but didn't, so out of nowhere my dad suggested going to Morongo to "get shoes" for him but I knew all he wanted to do was gamble. We super lagged it while waiting for my loud aunt to come, then we picked up Kathleen before we left Garden Grove at 5:30. Got to Cabazon and the Desert Hills Premium Outlets place at 7 and shopped around for a bit. I got so tired though because I hadn't eaten anything since the morning, so we all went to get Thai Orchid about 8 miles away. We bought so much food, and we actually finished it all! That's how hungry we were. We went back to Morongo, where my dad, aunt, and mom went to the slot machines. Of course, they lost all their money. Mimi, Kathleen, and I just hung out around the casino, eating overly-priced muffins and drinking under-priced margaritas. We left around 11:30 and tried to stay awake by naming all 50 states. I lost count the first time around, so the second time Mimi wrote down the states. At the end, we came up with 46 and were really stumped, but I thought back to APUSH and came up with Missouri and Maryland. I asked my dad what state Baltimore was in, and he said Connecticut, which was the one state that I would've seriously never came up with. Baltimore is actually in Maryland, by the way. I just searched it up right now. We were racking our minds for the last one and I was like "Wouldn't it suck if we actually got all the states but Mimi just forgot to write one down?" That's what happened; she forgot to write down Illinois, that asshole. Dropped off Kathleen, and when I got in the house, I couldn't sleep anymore even though I was so sleepy in the car, so I ended up staying awake until 5:30.

- Tuesday, July 14th
It was our 4 months, and we were supposed to hang out and get each other gifts, but we didn't do any of that since he hadn't tried to contact me since Friday night. I got woken up at 10:30 because Eddie from Ecko wanted me to get a work permit and everything so I could start working the next day. I went to Rancho to get the work permit, then my mom took me to Ecko so Eddie could sign it. We made a quick stop at Downtown Disney so I could get some foundation from Sephora. It was so hot; I don't know how people can actually last a day at Disneyland. I definitely want to go to Disneyland sometime again, but remind me to go on a day that's much cooler.

- Wednesday, July 15th
First day at work was pretty cool. I closed with Terrence, one of my assistant managers. He's super funny and was talking about how Filipino guys are insecure and make the worst boyfriends ever. He's Filipino himself! Much of what he said was true; at 26 years old, he's been there and done that, so he pretty much has a lot of insight on life and relationships. Working with him should be interesting.